Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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