Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
