she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.