Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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