I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
