So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize