i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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