I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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