Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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