Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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