Are we in a gay sports bar?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Drunk is a universal language darling
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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