Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
