i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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