My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
