You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
