i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
