What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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