Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
