plz talk dirty to me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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