Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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