dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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