Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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