i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
