Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
