everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
