My brain says no but my pants say off.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
