Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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