did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
