No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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