alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize