i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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