well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
