My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My cat gives me a boner
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
