i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
