how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
