I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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