There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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