How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
