just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
