And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
