Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He? As in you personified your dick?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
