a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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