I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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