the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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