There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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