I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
