So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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