We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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