im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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