I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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