you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
