hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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