Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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