are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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