But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
