It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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