I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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