He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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