Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
