my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
