gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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